Tuesday 12 May 2009
Peas and Elephants
In addition to post below for the last week and a bit ;ets just say my pea rolled back down the hill and for a long time Clayton would not get off my chest, and i spent most of the week ill in bed feeling a bit sorry for myself, but this week seems to be a little bit better and i am motivated once again, lets get that bit more!
Not Enough Planning, Not Enough Commitment
The title says it all really, today did get back into the swing of things a bit with going swimming and doing a steady 16 lengths, but i had my hospital rehabilitation to go to so did not want to do too much.
There is the crux of the matter, i really only have enough energy and health each day if i am lucky to do one good thing for a couple may be a few hours, with breaks and potentially then theres restrictions and problems, too many to go into. I know if i push this envelope i will be bad and ruin the day and possibly more than one or many.
This is the first dilemma, doing too much but i feel so restricted that just doing what i am capable of feels like nothing and no point, so sometimes its easy to either do too much looking for an achievement or think i can't do anything and then do nothing.
But a plan needs to be worked at i hear you saying, well i know this, but so does living, ie housework even in basic amounts needs to be done each day, but i can't do housework and my health in one day i don't have the health or the energy, i can't do two days of housework in one, i can't do shopping and health or usually appointments, social commitments -- you name it i can't do it, so what do you do?
I heard a good example on the radio to imagine you had a chronic health problem and the day to day living, each day you would be given 12 pound coins, and you had to spend them to do activities, if you did not have coins that was the same as the disabled person not having the health, getting up and getting dressed would cost you a pound, if you had an appointment that required 30 minutes travel that would cost you a pound to get there, a pound to wait, for the appointment and a pound to get home, another pound just to recover, thats 5 pounds, basically you ran out of pounds by 4pm every day only having done one or two tasks which are normally centred around your health or maintenance of your existence. Leisure very rare and although appreciated not always enjoyed as the pounds run out quickly keeping up with everyone else. I tried this while i was still at work before my illness took over, and i was running out of coins by noon, no pounds for the drive home and therefore the analogy that you are just causing yourself further harm.
All this is not to say that giving up or inactivity is the answer as it clearly is not, that leads to less mobility in the long run and less pounds allowance, but find the balance is the key, then just maybe with doing an achievable amount daily after a while increasing by a few percent and keeping that as your new regular target for a while.
This is my problem, keeping going, having that plan - although i do most days do things, i do still tend to be ruled by what must be done ie appointments that come in and maintenance activities that demand to be done rather than making things work for me. I also still try to take advantage of a 'good' day to much and on a really bad day once i have rode out the storm of pain need to 'potter' and do a few things instead of just lying on the bed in a medicated vegetative state, its hard but i need to do this, if i am to roll the pea up the hill with my nose, but i need to plan.
There is the crux of the matter, i really only have enough energy and health each day if i am lucky to do one good thing for a couple may be a few hours, with breaks and potentially then theres restrictions and problems, too many to go into. I know if i push this envelope i will be bad and ruin the day and possibly more than one or many.
This is the first dilemma, doing too much but i feel so restricted that just doing what i am capable of feels like nothing and no point, so sometimes its easy to either do too much looking for an achievement or think i can't do anything and then do nothing.
But a plan needs to be worked at i hear you saying, well i know this, but so does living, ie housework even in basic amounts needs to be done each day, but i can't do housework and my health in one day i don't have the health or the energy, i can't do two days of housework in one, i can't do shopping and health or usually appointments, social commitments -- you name it i can't do it, so what do you do?
I heard a good example on the radio to imagine you had a chronic health problem and the day to day living, each day you would be given 12 pound coins, and you had to spend them to do activities, if you did not have coins that was the same as the disabled person not having the health, getting up and getting dressed would cost you a pound, if you had an appointment that required 30 minutes travel that would cost you a pound to get there, a pound to wait, for the appointment and a pound to get home, another pound just to recover, thats 5 pounds, basically you ran out of pounds by 4pm every day only having done one or two tasks which are normally centred around your health or maintenance of your existence. Leisure very rare and although appreciated not always enjoyed as the pounds run out quickly keeping up with everyone else. I tried this while i was still at work before my illness took over, and i was running out of coins by noon, no pounds for the drive home and therefore the analogy that you are just causing yourself further harm.
All this is not to say that giving up or inactivity is the answer as it clearly is not, that leads to less mobility in the long run and less pounds allowance, but find the balance is the key, then just maybe with doing an achievable amount daily after a while increasing by a few percent and keeping that as your new regular target for a while.
This is my problem, keeping going, having that plan - although i do most days do things, i do still tend to be ruled by what must be done ie appointments that come in and maintenance activities that demand to be done rather than making things work for me. I also still try to take advantage of a 'good' day to much and on a really bad day once i have rode out the storm of pain need to 'potter' and do a few things instead of just lying on the bed in a medicated vegetative state, its hard but i need to do this, if i am to roll the pea up the hill with my nose, but i need to plan.
Subscribe to:
Posts (Atom)
