This may not seem like a big deal to some, but this is to me - my first blog, well my first entry on my first blog.
I have always meant to keep diaries and journals and started many times with good intentions on the 1st of January each year or at the start of another health programme or hospital regime. I get a few weeks in the either it becomes more like a shopping list or it just thins out to a few words every month, by April there is just a date for the doctors and a note to say that i weighed far to much and swan 18 lengths and had a sauna.
The other issue is with me is that i have a serious health problem, not life threatening, not in the way it will 'do for me' but it controls my life and has taken over my life with pain and inconvenience to the point that it comes first in all situations, i am disabled and that takes some admitting. A journal in this situation is useful and i have tried and succeeded for months at a time but the curse always gets the better of me. The curse is my condition and it getting gradually worse - i have to live it every day, live every last painful minute of it, when you have a plan and there are distractions in your life like you are well enough to work, you may feel exhausted and in discomfort but basically you have your plan and feel you can write it down at the end of the day - great,
But i personally find that when as now and quite a few times in the past a journal of my health may in theory be useful in actuality spending 20 minutes a night reliving the abject sometime appallingly awful days i have is not what i wish to do, i just want to go to sleep, i can manage the lengths swam or the physiotherapy stretches mustered but not the finer details of pain, especially as to make any sense of it you have to then evaluate days and weeks worth of pain data back to back and pick out patterns of activity and discomfort, 'flare-up' trends, lets face it -who in their right mind would want to poor over that - i know it i live it, except...............
I know the feelings and bulk reasons but not the finite details as i am so engrossed in my condition a journal would be like having an impartial eye, and.........
although i desperately do not want to poor over misery the bigger picture is if i could pick out just enough information to push the window of condition management by 5% or spot a trigger and remove it, or spot a better remedy that helps in a TIGHT spot, by 5% even by 2% then the bigger picture has to be worth it.
so for my first blog entry i have ended up taking about my health and my reluctance to journalise my health conditions experience, which is something i wanted to avoid, i wanted to come on here and sound interesting, so people would come across my blog by accident and think wow this guy has something to say lets see what else hes got. Not that i am on some sort of trip to get my voice heard, i will be happy if i can make a regular commitment, my entries are worthy and no-one reads this but me.
So i am going to leave it there, i may split my blog into two, health and Muse IE how my battle against trying to be as well as i can be is going and all the other stuff i would like to journal about and do in life but gets pushed to the side and i keep ignoring, i need to move on love the elephant thats parked itself in the room and wont leave, i have been trying to push it out for so long, but it just sits there blowing on its trunk. I am going to call it Clayton
so bye from me and bye from Clayton - see you soon xx
I have always meant to keep diaries and journals and started many times with good intentions on the 1st of January each year or at the start of another health programme or hospital regime. I get a few weeks in the either it becomes more like a shopping list or it just thins out to a few words every month, by April there is just a date for the doctors and a note to say that i weighed far to much and swan 18 lengths and had a sauna.
The other issue is with me is that i have a serious health problem, not life threatening, not in the way it will 'do for me' but it controls my life and has taken over my life with pain and inconvenience to the point that it comes first in all situations, i am disabled and that takes some admitting. A journal in this situation is useful and i have tried and succeeded for months at a time but the curse always gets the better of me. The curse is my condition and it getting gradually worse - i have to live it every day, live every last painful minute of it, when you have a plan and there are distractions in your life like you are well enough to work, you may feel exhausted and in discomfort but basically you have your plan and feel you can write it down at the end of the day - great,
But i personally find that when as now and quite a few times in the past a journal of my health may in theory be useful in actuality spending 20 minutes a night reliving the abject sometime appallingly awful days i have is not what i wish to do, i just want to go to sleep, i can manage the lengths swam or the physiotherapy stretches mustered but not the finer details of pain, especially as to make any sense of it you have to then evaluate days and weeks worth of pain data back to back and pick out patterns of activity and discomfort, 'flare-up' trends, lets face it -who in their right mind would want to poor over that - i know it i live it, except...............
I know the feelings and bulk reasons but not the finite details as i am so engrossed in my condition a journal would be like having an impartial eye, and.........
although i desperately do not want to poor over misery the bigger picture is if i could pick out just enough information to push the window of condition management by 5% or spot a trigger and remove it, or spot a better remedy that helps in a TIGHT spot, by 5% even by 2% then the bigger picture has to be worth it.
so for my first blog entry i have ended up taking about my health and my reluctance to journalise my health conditions experience, which is something i wanted to avoid, i wanted to come on here and sound interesting, so people would come across my blog by accident and think wow this guy has something to say lets see what else hes got. Not that i am on some sort of trip to get my voice heard, i will be happy if i can make a regular commitment, my entries are worthy and no-one reads this but me.
So i am going to leave it there, i may split my blog into two, health and Muse IE how my battle against trying to be as well as i can be is going and all the other stuff i would like to journal about and do in life but gets pushed to the side and i keep ignoring, i need to move on love the elephant thats parked itself in the room and wont leave, i have been trying to push it out for so long, but it just sits there blowing on its trunk. I am going to call it Clayton
so bye from me and bye from Clayton - see you soon xx
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